Drinking Coffee Beans Straight from the Bag

When I first got into coffee, I was much like everybody else in that I drank the brewed liquid that you commonly call “coffee.” I was blown away by how good it tasted, how much better I felt while drinking it, and the friends that I made when coffee became a part of my life. As time has passed and my journey towards developing my taste for coffee grew, I wanted something more, something better than even craft coffee!

I kept trying all sorts of coffee drinks, endless brewing methods, and countless espresso shots, but then I remembered the “source.” All coffee comes from coffee beans (I hope), so why not just drink the beans? I’m entirely serious about drinking the beans because you don’t eat coffee, silly. I took a leap of faith and gave coffee beans, straight from the bag, a shot.

I was a little skeptical at first, but once I got past the coughing and the occasional crunch in my mouth, drinking coffee beans straight from the bag changed my life! Step aside, brewed coffee, raw coffee beans are where it’s at!

Shortly after drinking coffee beans straight from the bag, I no longer had any use for my brewing equipment at home. Kettle, gone. AeroPress, nope that’s gone. V60, begone. Grinder, I kept that just in case. The next thing I did was convince my other coffee friends to join the raw coffee train with me.

My buddy Aidan was very skeptical when I told him how I preferred my coffee now, but then I told him that the only true way of tasting coffee is to literally ingest it raw. No other method compares to it. With a little bit of time and a little bit of bullying, I got him to drink coffee beans straight from the bag, and it blew his mind.

“Why didn’t I try this sooner?!” Aidan said, “Everyone has been drinking coffee the wrong way all this time!”

“Aidan, do you know what this all means?” I replied. “This is the 4th wave, the new era of coffee, and we’re the forerunners of it!”

Aidan and I became the preachers of the 4th wave of coffee, converting the coffee drinkers of days of old with their inferior cups and complicated brewing methods. We showed everyone the beauty of drinking coffee straight from the bag. The coffee world, slowly but surely, began to change for the betterment of future cups of coffee.

There were moments of opposition. Many pro 3rd wave coffee drinkers would attack us with their v60s and their bottomless portafilters, but we prevailed! With the power of raw coffee beans straight from the bag, we were able to defeat anyone who still supported the 3rd wave of coffee. Drinking coffee beans straight from the bag soon became the superior method.

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